Whatever Works

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

elle-lavender:

keyofnik:

Usagi’s test, and so you KNOW I needed to see what I could see on it. I hoped a bit more would be visible later, and YES INDEED.

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So judging by Umino’s test, it looks like circles are a correct answer:

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So a checkmark must mean a wrong answer.

Judging from that, Usagi actually looks like she should’ve done way the hell better than a 30! Perhaps it’s a double-sided test though, I don’t know. Still, I THINK YOU DID PRETTY GOOD USAGI ALL THINGS CONSIDERED

My favourite parts though:


That Usagi just fucking gave up on some answers, but wrote in a question mark.

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It’s such a little plaintive gesture. “THIS IS ONLY QUESTION THREE AND I HAVE NO IDEA SEND HELP”. (It’s even funnier to me since I’m used to checkmarks meaning something’s right, so it’s like Haruna was just, “Yes, fine, I’ll mark it right, for the love of god I have to give you a point for SOMETHING to justify my entire career.”


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"zissai" NOW YOU’RE JUST MAKING UP ENGLISH WORDS USAGI


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"I am sagashi tell my wallet".

USAGI PLEASE EXPLAIN TO THE CLASS WHAT THIS IS EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN


But the best part?

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"I want to drink. I want to eat."

it’s not the answer to the question, BUT IT’S GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT.

Because if there is one thing Usagi is going to learn how to say in English, it’s “I want to drink. I want to eat.”

Usagi sets foot in an English-speaking country, and these are literally the first and only English words out of her mouth.

"KONNICHI WA. I WANT TO DRINK. I WANT TO EAT."

By all the gods old and new, THERE CAN BE NO AMBIGUITY ON SOMETHING SO VITAL

#in her room practicing in front of a mirror   #meticulously writing it out just in case   #I WANT TO DRINK I WANT TO EAT   #usagi’s greatest traveling fear   #being unable to communicate these things   #usagi tsukino   #usagi is love   #and that’s like her default answer to anything she doesn’t know  #someone walks up to her on the street and asks her the time   #usagi panics and gets in their face   #’I WANT TO DRINK. I WANT TO EAT.’

dragonstars:

making your friend watch a horrible movie that you have already seen

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melkior:

send hELP

grubsludge:

funk-dabble:

littleleahlamb2k14:

grubsludge:

bury me in armor so I’ll be ready for the skeleton war

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ready

why is his fricking chest uncovered? that’s ppor planning right there

what are you gonna do?

stab a skeleton in the heart?

practicallyoblivious:

THIS WEBSITE I SWEAR

practicallyoblivious:

THIS WEBSITE I SWEAR

It feels so weird. Today I picked up with one hand a push mower I remember as a child being bigger than I was and having to use almost a running tackle just to get it to move a few inches.

factsinallcaps:

THE TERM “JUMP THE SHARK” DESCRIBES THE POINT IN A TELEVISION SHOW WHERE IT STOPS CREATIVELY DEVELOPING AND STARTS TO BECOME A SELF-REFERENTIAL CARICATURE OF ITSELF. THIS IS OFTEN ASSOCIATED WITH A SHARP DECLINE IN QUALITY.

THE PHRASE ITSELF REFERS TO AN EPISODE OF “HAPPY…

rosefire:

gaywitch-practisingabortion:

situationalstudent:

purplespacecats:

professorbutterscotch:

kiskolee:

THIS.

I have never thought about it in this context
that’s actually really, really creepy.

I… fuck.

Yeah, basically.

I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages. 

There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.

rosefire:

gaywitch-practisingabortion:

situationalstudent:

purplespacecats:

professorbutterscotch:

kiskolee:

THIS.

I have never thought about it in this context

that’s actually really, really creepy.

I… fuck.

Yeah, basically.

I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages. 

There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.